How to Tell Your Kids You're Getting a Divorce

Divorcing parents know all too well the emotional rollercoaster that comes with navigating this life change. But often, the toughest conversation isn't with lawyers or family – it's with your children. Here at Scaringi Law, our family law attorneys explore the best ways to approach this difficult topic, offering tips for crafting an age-appropriate message, fostering open communication, and reassuring your kids that even though your family structure is changing, their love and security from both parents will not.

Tips for Telling Your Children You’re Getting Divorced

Divorce is a difficult experience for everyone involved, especially children. The news can be confusing, scary, and destabilizing. But honesty and open communication are key to helping your kids adjust to this new reality. Here's some guidance on how to tell your children you're getting a divorce.

Plan the Conversation

• Pick a Calm Moment: Don't have this conversation during a fight or right before a big event. Choose a neutral time when you can sit down together and focus on your kids.
• Present a United Front: If possible, talk to your ex-partner beforehand and agree on a basic message. Avoid blaming each other or getting into details that are not appropriate for your kids.
• Tailor Your Approach: Consider your children's ages and personalities. Younger children need simpler explanations, while teenagers might have more complex questions.

What to Say

• Be Honest: Let your kids know that you and your ex are getting a divorce. Use clear and concise language they can understand.
• Focus on Love: Reassure your children that you both love them very much and that the divorce isn't their fault.
• Address Changes: Briefly explain any upcoming changes, like living arrangements or routines.
• Open the Door for Questions: Let your children know it's okay to ask questions and express their feelings.

What Not to Do

• Badmouth Your Ex: This puts your children in a difficult position and can damage their relationship with the other parent.
• Offer Too Much Detail: Stick to the basics and avoid overwhelming them with information.
• Make Promises You Can't Keep: Don't guarantee things will be exactly the same, but emphasize your commitment to being good parents.

What to Remember

• This is an Ongoing Conversation: Be prepared to have this talk multiple times as your children process the information and new emotions arise.
• Provide Support: Let your children know they can talk to you or another trusted adult about their feelings. Consider involving a therapist or counselor specializing in children of divorce.
• Focus on the Future: While acknowledging the sadness, emphasize the positive aspects of your new family structure.

Divorce is a challenging journey, but with open communication and love, you can help your children navigate this difficult time and build a healthy future.

Schedule a Consultation with Our Family Law Attorneys Today

Our experienced family law team can guide you through every step of the divorce process. Schedule a consultation with our team to discuss your specific situation today.

Call (717) 775-7195 or contact us online today to get started.